As manager of Arsenal I find myself top of the league and undefeated. Not at all bad really is it? My first game of the season is against Wigan who’ve failed to even score yet this season let alone win and find themselves at the foot of the table.

Two paragraphs into my investigation and I’ve already found a mystery. It appears the league table doesn’t really count for anything in Football Manager. It claimed that I was top of the league, therefore I should be the best no? It also claimed that Wigan where bottom of the league so they should be the worst, am I right? Despite these two blatant facts, I still managed to get battered 4-0, strange no?

Things were going all right at first, by half time it was still 0-0 and I’d had a few shots on goal but they’d all missed, so I subbed the two players who’d had the shots in the hope the new players would score.

The second half kicked off all fine and dandy before all of a sudden on 50 minutes I had this horrible sternutation. It boiled up and up and up, until it exploded all over my keyboard and screen. A sternutation is more commonly referred to as a sneeze by the way.

This particular sternutation was caused by an irritation of my upper right nostril. Fortunatly the sneeze expelled whatever excess dust had been lurking up there and removed the irritation and I continued to watch my game. However when I looked back I saw my goalkeeper had been injured. The cleaning of my nostril hadn’t take that long and I surmised that my keeper must have been injured exactly when I sneezed, this explained a lot.